I pride myself on being genuine and I encourage others to do the same. My belief is that people should own who they are because it brings a sense of empowerment. In my 27 years as a fitness trainer, I have helped others own their bodies, their limitations, their addictions, their struggles and more. I thought I was doing the same for myself- but I was wrong.
Throughout the past 5 years, I have not been genuine. I have hidden behind my pride and have not owned a part of myself. I CANNOT BELIEVE it’s taken me 5 years to get to this point, but I am ready-
I have fibromyalgia and it affects every hour of my every day.
I need to OWN this. I need to accept it and stop denying the pain I feel. I hide it from my parents, my children, my spouse, my co-workers, my fitness participants and my friends. Why would I do this? If I am asking for genuineness from them, why am I not giving it back?
Embarrassment. Shame. Fear. Pride. Ego. Worry.
These are the answers I have. Are any of them valid? No.
I am afraid to admit weakness and for the past 5 years, I felt fibromyalgia was a weakness. I am changing that feeling. If I can live with this pain 24 hours a day and still work, laugh, be successful and enjoy my life, I AM STRONG!
I will own this condition. I will own each and every feeling and be genuine with those closest to me. I have to trust that it won’t change my relationship with them. I won’t complain or sit on the pity-potty, but as of right now, I have to accept that fibromyalgia is a big part of my life and is not going away- trust me, I’ve tried to get rid of it.