Being in pain every day is not the worst part of living with fibromyalgia. The pain, I can adjust to and work with. The worse part, for me, is the worry of getting hurt.
I know I’ve touched on this before, but it is really beginning to affect my life. When I have to weigh the consequences of every physical movement, it sucks. It’s draining. This worry over getting hurt really limits me.
Those who know me say they cannot tell that I have this chronic condition. I smile and laugh and push through the pain so it looks as if I am not struggling at all. Like those who suffer with mental illness, but look fine on the outside, those of us with fibromyalgia are suffering on the inside too.
If my pain were to be bruises all over- something that you could see- you would be appalled and think I was being beaten. For those of you who know someone with fibromyalgia, please keep in mind that we are doing the best we can. Most of us do not complain. We continue to work and perform chores even though it is hurting us.
My pain is manageable through diet,exercise and a reduction in stress, but I still have the worry that if I do something out of the ordinary, I may be hurting too much to do the things that are required of me.
In my quest to be more vocal, I have been telling people that I cannot lift heavy things or teach exercise classes or do a lot of yard work. It just is not good for me anymore. I feel selfish at times, but if I do not take care of myself, no one else will.